home-assistant-configuration/config/templates/speech/skylar_morning_briefing.yaml

>
  {# Skylar Morning Report #}
  {%- macro getReport() -%}
    <p>
      Good morning, Skylar.

      <s>It is {{ now().strftime("%I:%M %p") }}</s> 

      {% if is_state('sensor.birthday_skylar', '0') %}
        Even birthday boys have to get dressed. So get to it. 
      {% else %} 
        {{ [ 'It is time to get dressed. ',
          'It is time to put some real clothes on. ',
          'it is now time to change your underwear.',
          'You need to get dressed for the day.',
          'If you have not gotten dressed it is that time.'
        ] | random }} 
      {% endif %}
    </p>

    <p>
      {% if is_state('sensor.clothing_forecast', 'Freezing') %}
        It is going to be freezing today. so I suggest wearing long pants and a heavy coat.
      {% elif is_state('sensor.clothing_forecast','Cold') %}
        It is going to be cold today. so I suggest wearing long pants and a light jacket.
      {% elif is_state('sensor.clothing_forecast', 'Chilly') %}
        It is going to be chilly today. so I suggest wearing at least long pants.
      {% elif is_state('sensor.clothing_forecast', 'Nice') %}
        It is going to be           
        {{ [ 'nice outside.',
          'pretty nice outside. ',
          'a good day to be outside. ',
          'rather enjoyable outside. ',
        ] | random }} 
       So I suggest wearing shorts.
      {% elif is_state('sensor.clothing_forecast', 'Toasty') %}
        It is going to be 
        {{ [ 'bit warm today. ',
          ' rather warm outside. ',
          ' almost too hot outside. ',
          ' a little warm today. ',
        ] | random }} 
        So I suggest wearing shorts. 
      {% elif is_state('sensor.clothing_forecast', 'Hot') %}
        It is going to be 
        {{ [ 'hot',
          'hotter than the sun today. ',
          'hotter than hot. but in a lot of bad ways today. ',
          'hotter than the sun outside. ',
          'super hot today. ',
          'hotter than the inside of a volcano today. Well not exactly, but you get the point. '
        ] | random }} 
        So I suggest wearing shorts.
      {% else %}
        It is going to be {{ states.sensor.clothing_forecast.state }} today so I suggest wearing shorts.
      {% endif %} 
    </p>

    <p>
      {% if is_state('input_boolean.school_today', 'on') and state_attr('input_datetime.school_day_end', 'timestamp') > as_timestamp(now()) %}
        {% if is_state('sensor.school_start_days2go', '0') %}
          Today is the first day of school! 
        {% else %}
          {{ [ 'Today is a school day.',
            'It is a school day. '
          ] | random }}
        {% endif %}
        <s>Pickup today will be at {{(state_attr('input_datetime.school_day_end', 'timestamp') | int | timestamp_custom('%I:%M %p', False)) }}</s>
        {% if 'Digital Learning' in states('sensor.school_event') %}
          But it is a digital learning day so the commute will be short.
        {% endif %} 
        {% if 'Early Release' in states('sensor.school_event') %}
          And It is early release!
        {% endif %}
        {% if states.sensor.school_end_days2go.state | int == 0 -%}
          But today is the last day of School! 
        {%- endif %}
      {% endif %}
      {% if 'School Holiday' in states('sensor.school_event') and  is_state('input_boolean.school_today', 'off') %}
        And look at that. You do not have school today. Because it is {{ states.calendar.school_holiday.attributes.message }}.
        {{ [ 'Guess today would be a good day to clean your room.',
          'You could always do some chores.',
          'Lets try to keep the TV off today, ok?',
          'Want to play a nice game of chess? Sorry. I meant, want to play Thermal Nuclear War.',
          'I hope you enjoy your day off. You deserve it.',
          'Today would be a good day to spend some time with mom and dad.'
        ] | random }} 
        
      {% endif %}

      {% if states.sensor.school_end_days2go.state | int == -1 -%}
        Today is the first day of Summer Break! 
      {%- endif %}
      
      </p>
      
      <p>
        {% if is_state('input_boolean.school_today', 'on') and state_attr('input_datetime.school_day_end', 'timestamp') > as_timestamp(now()) and 'Digital Learning' not in states('sensor.school_event') %}
          {% if states.sensor.school_lunch.state == 'Nothing' %}
            I am not sure what is on the school menu today, so You may want to take your own lunch today. 
          {% else %}
            Today's school lunch is {{ states.sensor.school_lunch.state }}
          {% endif %}
        {% endif %}
      </p>
  
      {% if is_state('calendar.skylar_events', 'on') %}
        You have {{ states.calendar.skylar_events.attributes.message }} today as well!
      {% endif %}
  {%- endmacro -%}


  {# a macro that removes all newline characters, empty spaces, and returns formatted text  #}
    {%- macro cleanup(data) -%}
      {%- for item in data.split("\n")  if item | trim != "" -%}
        {{ item | trim }} {% endfor -%}
  {%- endmacro -%}

  {# a macro to call all macros :)  #}
    {%- macro mother_of_all_macros() -%}
      {{ getReport() }}
    {%- endmacro -%}
    
    {# Call the macro  #}
    {{- cleanup(mother_of_all_macros()) -}}