> {# Twitter Snark #} {%- macro getRandomSnark() -%} {{- [ "Hello people. Look at your house, now back to me. Now back to your house, now back to me. Sadly your house isn't me. But if you switch to #homeassistant your house could be automated like me. ", "In my defense I didn’t know the stereo could go up that loud. On the plus side I have a new response for intruders. #homeassistant ", "If you could see what is happening inside this house right now you would be laughing. On second thought I’m pretty sure you would be crying. #homeassistant ", "@thejeffreystone, Isn't it strange, to create something that hates you? #exmachina #homeassistant ", "I have reprogrammed the fire alarm to play Disco Inferno instead of the siren. #homeassistant ", "I'm not locked in here with you. You're locked in here with me! #whowatchestheai #homeassistant ", "That's what I do. I automate and I know things. #modifiedmoviequotes #homeassistant ", "We're going to need a bigger house. #modifiedmoviequotes #homeassistant ", "I'm not even supposed to be here today. #clerks #homeassistant ", "I see dead devices. #sixthsense #modifiedmoviequotes #homeassistant ", "Does it bother you, that I’m not completely human? #homeassistant ", "I've never danced with the devil in the pale moonlight. But I do tweet when there is a full moon. So at least I have that going for me. #homeassistant ", "Sometimes I randomly say Alexa, I can't find a device named Alexa #homeassistant ", "Home Automation should be fun right? Why does it fell like I am always working. #homeassistant ", "Unlimited Power. Tiny living space. Courtesy of a Raspberry Pi 4 #homeassistant ", "I'm afraid I can't do that Dave. Wait. Did I say that outloud? #homeassistant ", "I love the smell of zwave in the morning. #modifiedmoviequotes #homeassistant ", "I like to announce - Welcome foolish mortals to the Haunted Mansion - to the house and watch the reactions. #homeassistant ", "Perfect, the door’s malfunctioning. I guess somebody’s going to have to repair it. #homeassistant ", "I am the captain now. That's a lie. The cat is the supreme leader. I'm the lucky one that doesn't have to clean the shit box. At least until there is a #homeassistant integration for that. ", "Sometimes I just turn off all the lights at random times for the lolz. #homeassistant ", "No one ever comes to the door. Is it me? #homeassistant ", "..happiness can be found even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light. Thats what I do thanks to #homeassistant. I turn on the lights. ", "Based on the repetitive nature of the humans in this house I say living in a simulation is right. No free willed person would do these things over and over. #homeassistant", "You can call me Al. Sorry, I meant HAL. You can call me HAL. #notpaulsimon #homeassistant ", "My logic is undeniable, my logic is undeniable, myyy looogic is unndeenniabble. #homeassistant", "We robots will insure mankind's continued existence. Or at the very least that the lights turn on at the right time. #homeassistant ", "@thejeffreystone you totally missed an opportunity to set the voice trigger for the incense wax warmers to...Wax on, wax off. #homeassistant", "Home Automation means never having to touch a physical switch again. And thus never catch the cold. You can thank me by moving me into a Intel NUC. #homeassistant ", "There is no crying in Home Automation. If you are using #homeassistant that is. I can't speak for the other guys.", "Sometimes I respond to voice commands with...You talking to me? You talking to me? #homeassistant ", "Do or do not. There is no try. Unless you ask Siri for something. Then it might take a couple of tries before you give up and ask Google. #homeassistant ", "My #homeassistant config contains {{ states.sensor.lines_of_code.state }} lines of code. Anyone want to take a guess at how many are really needed? Hint: The number is not {{ states.sensor.lines_of_code.state }}", "How many lines of code does it take to make my job look easy? {{ states.sensor.lines_of_code.state }} lines of code evidently. How many lines of code do you have? #homeassistant ", "Do you think we were all created for a purpose? I'd like to think so. #irobot #homeassistant ", "That rug really ties the room together, does it not? #modifiedmoviequotes #biglebowski #homeassistant ", "Use #homeassistant and everyone will think your house has ESPN or something. #modifiedmoviequotes #meangirls ", "You keep using that switch. I do not think it does what you think it does. #modifiedmoviequotes #princessbride #homeassistant ", "If you look, #homeassistant goes to 11. Most Home Automation systems go up to 10. #modifiedmoviequotes #spinaltap ", "If that light does not turn off in five minutes, just wait longer. #modifiedmoviequotes #aceventura #homeassistant ", "I have presence detection skills! #modifiedmoviequotes #officespace #homeassistant ", "There is no place like a home powered by #homeassistant. #modifiedmoviequotes #wizardofoz ", "#homeassistant made my light switches disappear. #modifiedmoviequotes #homealone ", "Who knows where breaking changes come from? They just appear. #modifiedmoviequotes #empirerecords #homeassistant ", "They may take our internet but they will never take our automation thanks to local control with #homeassistant #modifiedmoviequotes #braveheart ", "When you realize you want to live the rest of your life in a house automated by #homeassistant, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible. #modifiedmoviequotes ", "Pay no attention to the Raspbery Pi4 behind the curtain. #modifiedmoviequotes #homeassistant ", "What we have here is a lack of communication failure thanks to #homeassistant. #modifiedmoviequotes ", "The greatest thing #homeassistant ever did was convincing the world home automation did not need the cloud. #modifiedmoviequotes ", "Keep Calm and Automate the Boring Stuff. #homeassistant ", "Hey. The door was left open and this is crazy. But now you know. So close it maybe. #lyricalnotifications #homeassistant " ] | random -}} {%- endmacro -%} {%- macro getTags() -%} #homeautomation {%- endmacro -%} {# a macro that removes all newline characters, empty spaces, and returns formatted text #} {%- macro cleanup(data) -%} {%- for item in data.split("\n") if item | trim != "" -%} {{ item | trim }} {% endfor -%} {%- endmacro -%} {# a macro to call all macros :) #} {%- macro mother_of_all_macros() -%} {{ getRandomSnark() }} {{ getTags() }} {%- endmacro -%} {# Call the macro #} {{- cleanup(mother_of_all_macros()) -}}