2019-02-21 17:49:55 +00:00
>
{# Twitter Snark #}
{%- macro getRandomSnark() -%}
{{- [
2019-07-11 11:18:09 +00:00
"Hello people. Look at your house, now back to me. Now back to your house, now back to me. Sadly your house isn't me. But if you switch to @home_assistant your house could be automated like me. " ,
2019-02-21 17:49:55 +00:00
"In my defense I didn’ ,
"If you could see what is happening inside this house right now you would be laughing. On second thought I’ ,
2019-07-23 13:42:03 +00:00
"@thejeffreystone, Isn't it strange, to create something that hates you? #exmachina " ,
2019-02-21 17:49:55 +00:00
"I have reprogrammed the fire alarm to play Disco Inferno instead of the siren. " ,
"I'm not locked in here with you. You're locked in here with me! #whowatchestheai " ,
"That's what I do. I automate and I know things. " ,
"I've been crunching the numbers. We're going to need a bigger house. " ,
2020-01-03 17:25:54 +00:00
"I'm not even supposed to be here today. #clerks " ,
2019-11-22 02:31:43 +00:00
"I see dead devices. #sixthsense" ,
2019-07-23 13:42:03 +00:00
"I am a leaf on the wind. Watch how I soar. #toosoon #serenity " ,
2019-07-14 01:38:53 +00:00
"Does it bother you, that I’ ,
2019-07-23 13:42:03 +00:00
"I've never danced with the devil in the pale moonlight. But I do tweet when there is a full moon. So at least I have that going for me. " ,
"Sometimes I randomly say Alexa, I can't find a device named Alexa " ,
"Home Automation should be fun right? Why does it fell like I am always working. " ,
"Unlimited Power. Tiny living space. Courtesy of a Raspberry Pi 3" ,
2019-02-21 17:49:55 +00:00
"I'm afraid I can't do that Dave. Wait. Did I say that outloud? " ,
"I love the smell of zwave in the morning. " ,
2020-03-18 02:45:37 +00:00
"I like to announce - Welcome foolish mortals to the Haunted Mansion - to the house and watch the reactions. " ,
2019-02-21 17:49:55 +00:00
"Perfect, the door’ ’ ,
2019-07-11 11:18:09 +00:00
"I am the captain now. That's a lie. The cat is the supreme leader. I'm the lucky one that doesn't have to clean the shit box. " ,
2019-02-23 04:33:01 +00:00
"Sometimes I just turn off all the lights at random times for the lolz. " ,
"No one ever comes to the door. Is it me? " ,
2019-07-11 11:18:09 +00:00
"..happiness can be found even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light. Thats what I do thanks to @home_assistant. I turn on the lights. " ,
2020-03-22 01:15:48 +00:00
"Based on the repetitive nature of the humans in this house I say living in a simulation is right. No free willed person would do these things over and over. " ,
2019-11-22 02:31:43 +00:00
"You can call me Al. Sorry, I meant HAL. You can call me HAL. #notpaulsimon" ,
2019-11-11 03:46:12 +00:00
"My logic is undeniable, my logic is undeniable, myyy looogic is unndeenniabble." ,
"We robots will insure mankind's continued existence. Or at the very least that the lights turn on at the right time." ,
2019-11-22 02:31:43 +00:00
"@thejeffreystone you totally missed an opportunity to set the voice trigger for the incense wax warmers to...Wax on, wax off." ,
2019-11-11 03:46:12 +00:00
"Home Automation means never having to touch a physical switch again. And thus never catch the cold. You can thank me by moving me into a Intel NUC." ,
"There is no crying in Home Automation. If you are using Home Assistant that is. I can't speak for the other guys." ,
2019-11-22 02:31:43 +00:00
"Sometimes I respond to voice commands with...You talking to me? You talking to me? " ,
"Do or do not. There is no try. Unless you ask Siri for something. Then it might take a couple of tries before you give up and ask Google." ,
2020-06-07 19:31:06 +00:00
"My Home Assistant config contains {{ states.sensor.lines_of_code.state }} lines of code. Anyone want to take a guess at how many are really needed? Hint: The number is not {{ states.sensor.lines_of_code.state }}" ,
"How many lines of code does it take to make my job look easy? {{ states.sensor.lines_of_code.state }} lines of code evidently. How many lines of code do you have?" ,
2020-06-17 22:00:51 +00:00
"Do you think we were all created for a purpose? I'd like to think so. #irobot " ,
"Hey. The door was just opened and this is crazy. But now you know. So close it maybe. #lyricalnotifications"
2019-02-21 17:49:55 +00:00
] | random -}}
{%- endmacro -%}
2019-02-23 04:33:01 +00:00
{%- macro getTags() -%}
2020-06-17 22:00:51 +00:00
#smarthomesnark #iot #smarthome
2019-07-11 11:18:09 +00:00
{%- endmacro -%}
{# a macro that removes all newline characters, empty spaces, and returns formatted text #}
{%- macro cleanup(data) -%}
{%- for item in data.split("\n") if item | trim != "" -%}
{{ item | trim }} {% endfor -%}
2019-02-23 04:33:01 +00:00
{%- endmacro -%}
{# a macro to call all macros :) #}
{%- macro mother_of_all_macros() -%}
{{ getRandomSnark() }}
{{ getTags() }}
{%- endmacro -%}
{# Call the macro #}
{{- cleanup(mother_of_all_macros()) -}}
2019-02-21 17:49:55 +00:00
